hongxiang's really awesome blog

An inconvenient truth.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your hats and sphincters for this - the blog has achieved an incredible milestone with a total of fifty posts!

Some people may claim that taking almost a year and a half to reach fifty posts is actually a failure, but I beg to differ.

I do not know why I am begging to differ, but I'll do it anyway.

Unfortunately though, I'm afraid I have to pen this entry with a heavy heart.

Last Thursday, according to my sources, it was raining hailstones in Central Singapore. Hailstones! In March! In sunny Singapore!

And hence, I decided to write this entry with great haste.

(A journalism lecturer once taught me the importance of timely articles. I'm afraid I've never really grasped that concept.)

Now I don't really like to toot my own horn, but I am writing this with the aim of serving the greater good. In fact, if serving the greater good was a crime, you can arrest me right now.

I am not an alarmist by nature but let me tell you this -

WE ARE SCREWED.

(It is capitalised, so it is very important.)

You see, sunny Singapore never had hailstones. In fact, the only times we had rain were December and days when I decide to leave the house. And out of the blue, hailstones just fall from the sky.

And I know what is going to happen next.

Crop circles.

Now it is a well-known fact to those who know it well that crop circles are the sign that the world is ending. They are the messages from the Maize God; a visual expression of the agonies of the landscape; a last-ditch cry of pain. But is anyone paying any attention?

So before the crop circles strike the last bastion of democracy (otherwise known as Singapore), we must rise and defend our soil from further defilement.

And in the spirit of serving the greater good, let me present to you the HongXiang Method.

In a nutshell, the HongXiang Method is the only one that has managed to solve all the problems in life.

There are actually two parts to this Method, and they are -

(Put on your coffee, grannies. You won't want to miss this!)

1) Stare at the problem until it gives up and walks away.

2) Throw money at it.

Cherish this entry, my friends, for you have learnt an important lesson of Life.

This entry was posted on Monday, March 31, 2008 at 10:11 PM.

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