This is top grade entertainment.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Like many other posts on this blog, we shall start with a joke.
Rumour has it that Donald Trump will be coming up with a new line of mattresses, because that's one source of income he hasn't got his hands on.
And the marketing tagline for these mattresses?
'YOU'RE TIRED!'
HAHAHA.
Yes, I'm at the top of my game.
Moving on.
Have you guys heard about this movie called The Bourne Ultimatum?
I watched it recently, and it was good ol' family-oriented entertainment.
In a nutshell, it is about this guy who wakes up in the middle of the ocean a few years ago. He cannot remember who he is or what he did, so he travels around the world to find that out.
To make things interesting, there is an organisation who happens to know who he is and what he did. And they travel around the world to kill him.
Does this confuse you?
That's what I thought.
Luckily for you, I chanced upon a scene which basically sums up the whole movie.
In this scene, our main guy (who cannot remembers who he is or what he did) gets ambushed by someone from the organisation (which remembers who he is and what he did). Our main guy (who cannot remembers who he is or what he did) turns around and pummels the guy, pummels the guy, and then he pummels the guy.
Just when that someone from the organisation (which remembers who he is and what he did) drops and you think it's over, our main guy (who cannot remembers who he is or what he did) strangles him.
Like I said, good ol' family entertainment.
Oh and by the way, one of my favourite television shows is gonna be back!
It's called Heroes, and the second season premieres today.
Basically, it's about these bunch of people who discover that they've got superhuman powers. I love this series for it's originality. Anyway, it's just like X-Men the cartoon series, except with more real people and less spandex.
I am very much looking forward to this season's offering, because the past season has left me wondering if the bunch of people will ever defeat that mysterious villain and get out from that weird island.
No wait.
Oh well, it's a nice show. Just don't quote me on that.
Oh! A friend of mine showed me a blog the other day, and it was quite disturbing. It's at http://hailmequeen.wordpress.com and it basically writes about the same things as I do. On that blog, the writer (Ali) writes about things like drinks, hot people, fat people and other people.
It is very intellectual.
And although I have about 5000 hits now, I still have the sneaky suspicion that about 4900 of these are from my parents (bless them), and the rest are from myself when I try to edit my blog. And I worry that whatever that remains of my readers will be drawn to http://hailmequeen.wordpress.com.
Because:
1) That writer has an easy name. Ali is so much easier to pronounce than HongXiang.
2) Ali is a writer/journalist, while I struggle to pronounce anything with more than four syllables.
3) Ali mentions the word 'sex' in the introduction to her blog. Mine says 'genius'. Nobody ever googles 'genius'.
4) Ali also mentions 'anatomy' in the same introduction. That means her blog has now covered both layman pervs and scientific pervs.
Any way I look at it, I'm screwed.
Actually, I'm kidding. The entire previous passage was just bollocks, and I actually know Ali. She's quite cool, and you can read what she says at http://hailmequeen.wordpress.com.
Just remember to come back here, please. I'll change my name to John or something.
Author: Ye » Comments:
Feelin' trippy
Monday, September 17, 2007
Tomorrow marks the end of my first year in National Service.
And it is extremely depressing.
It means that I have been doing the same thing for a year now, and I will be doing the same thing for one more year.
Because of this and several disturbingly similar thoughts, I have been extremely unmotivated. I have never been a motivated person, but there used to be some days when I tortured myself by typing stuff.
Now, I've even lost that masochistic streak.
Thus, I have decided to take a break soon and go for a holiday.
My friends, on more than one occasion, have asked me to go on a short trip to Thailand. I don't know about you, but advertisements I watched on television back in my childhood told me that I'll contract AIDS if I ever go to Thailand.
Since then, I always had an innate fear that I would go to Thailand, blow all my money on tom yam soup, have a diarrhea, contract AIDS from a dirty toilet seat, and die in anonymity on foreign soil.
And hence, Thailand is out.
My colleague then suggested Australia, and I thought it was brilliant. I mean, there's the beaches; the sun, the sand and the sea. There are also many Australians in Australia, most of whom seem like nice people from what I gather on Channel 5. I would have considered Australia, but I'm not really a beach person. I don't go outdoors much, actually.
So I sat myself down at work during office hours, and gave my holiday plans some serious thought.
I recalled a random video I watched years ago, and it showed this little kid running about in a house. The kid runs into a woman, looks up with glee, and says 'Bonjour, mama!'
I decided right there - I had to go to France.
I mean, it's a land of geniuses! After doing some in-depth research, I found out that almost everyone speaks French fluently over there. Isn't it amazing? While Singapore is probably the best country in the world, not many here can say that they speak French fluently.
But they do in France!
Isn't it amazing? Even that little kid could say 'Bonjour, mama!' It took me almost 14 years to do that. I'd have to travel there and bask in the glory of these linguistics maestros.
There remains one teeny problem, though. My passport has been expired for the past ten years.
It is now on my 'Things to do when I get out of the house' list, right up there with 'pick a fight with a kid' and 'Rihanna'.
Author: Ye » Comments:
The things I do.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Well, you may remember from this post that one of my New Year resolutions was to gain a total of 15kg.
It's September now, and about three quarters of the year is gone. Let me provide you with an update!
Some time back in July, I lost 2kg. I had no idea why, and I blamed it on my regular jogging. My solution? I stopped jogging altogether, and stocked up on junk food.
It worked, and that 2kg came back to me. But alas! My weight remained at 65kg, even though I've stopped jogging for the past two months and have been stuffing my face with junk food.
My big-headed (literally) friend, Wilson, suggested that I should do some gym training. It sounded really good, except for one small problem.
There simply isn't any time!
How the heck do you find time to work out, when you don't even want to?
Besides, I'm exhausted from all the sleeping man.
Let me tell you, sleeping is extremely demanding physically. For example, I injured my elbow just the other day, when I tried to reach the switch of the fan while lying on my bed.
In addition to sleeping, I have to do nothing. I'm not complaining though - I love doing nothing. I personally believe that doing nothing is one of the great hobbies in the world, just like collecting stamps and train-spotting.
There is just one small glitch with this hobby though. It pretty much ends conversations. Just think about it.
Me: Hey! What did you guys do for the long weekend?
Friends: Oh! We went trekking! What about you?
Me: Me? Oh, I did nothing.
Friends: Really? Wow, you should join us next time!
Me: ... Nah, I'd rather die.
See my point?
Author: Ye » Comments:
A nation united.
Monday, September 03, 2007
This is a public service announcement from the friendly folks at http://everyoneloveshongxiang.blogspot.com.
Due to the heavy rainfall across the country recently, I am not wearing any socks.
And that was a public service announcement brought to you by the folks at http://everyoneloveshongxiang.blogspot.com.
Seriously though, the weather has been pretty busy raining these few days.
Nobody really likes it when it rains, but the rain has this curious effect of uniting every Singaporean.
Everytime it rains, the entire Singapore just unite in their misery. Everyone just sulks and wallow in self-pity together.
I witnessed an example of this today.
I was at this big Armed Forces psi-ops thing called the Army Open House today, and it was jolly good fun, considering the fact that it was the military who organised the whole thing.
They did a great job though. Afterall, 95% of the military's job is to look like they can overcome everything. And they certainly did well in that aspect.
Anyway, everything went smoothly till the afternoon.
Then, it started to rain.
With military precision and efficiency, everybody gathered around one another on wooden benches and sulked. They complained about the weather, the boredom, life and the general state of things.
It was incredible to see our nation unite in times of adversity, regardless of race, language or religion.
Author: Ye » Comments:
