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Nostradamus 2.0

Thursday, October 09, 2008

It is neither my position nor my desire to share this grave news with you, but please bear with me - the world is ending in four years.

Now in case you start thinking that I am bucking the trend and talking senseless on this blog, please read this link.

For all you amateurs out there, the link explains that many years ago, a bunch of science nerds got together and invented a programme that could predict the future.

The programme does this by sending spiders out onto the Interweb while we're all asleep. These spiders then read the things that we say on the Interweb (!) and use the readings to predict the future.

It does this by searching for certain keywords and checking the text before and after the keyword. That is, apparently, our unconscious mind typing. For example, if a spider was to chance upon the previous paragraph looking for the keyword 'future', it would see that the text before and after 'future' was 'the' and '.' This means that there is only one future and that it's ending.

Wow, is that spooky or what?

It also means that the poor people who can't afford the Interweb is not involved in predicting the future at all. Which is fair, really, because hungry people usually are depressed and would think that the world is ending faster than it really is.

So where did these spiders come from? Nobody really knows. What I can tell you for sure is this - the spiders think that we only got four years left.

Now before you get all gloomy, let me tell you this - four years is a pretty long time to be prepared. Also, it is nice to know the year you'll die in. Treasure that, because it is a luxury most of our great-grandparents did not have. Well, except for those whose ancestors were sentenced to die.

Finally, before you leave this blog and inform the masses of the impending doom, do remember to eat blueberry pies. You've only got four years left, and you wouldn't wanna die without ever eating one. Cause that, my dear readers, would really suck.

Author: Ye » Comments: