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Gone fishin'

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Seriously.

I'm gonna pick up fishing as a hobby. Yep, you heard me right.

This is not a sudden interest, by the way. I was interested in fishing since my secondary school years. But, just as I was about to learn how to fish, I read an article in WanBao during 2002 which really made me scared of the activity.

A boy tried to cast a line and the hook kena his ear!

That cast a huge shadow over me. People who know me will know this - I have big ears. Hence, thanks to my bigger ears, I have a higher chance of getting the hook attaching itself to my ear, instead of hooking onto a fish. Learning probability during Sec 4 confirmed my suspicion - big ears equals big chance.

But! With greater age, comes greater intelligence. I have since found out that as long as I buy a damn big rod, and use a damn long line, and use a damn small hook, I'll cut the probability of getting an ear piercing by three times. Yep, that's right. Three. Big rod + long line + small hook = 3. Simple arithmetic.

Hence, I shall start to fish next weekend. As a matter-of-fact, I have already started practising. On my PC. Well, we usually start with the theory part first, right?

Check out my first catch:

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For the uninformed, the Chinese wordings say that the species of the fish I caught is Oo-Si-Ban. I think it means Osbourne fish. I've heard that these Osbournes eat bats. Scary. No wonder the fish's tail turned blue. Must be sick from all the germs.


Author: Ye » Comments:

I had a dream.

Monday, November 13, 2006

It's been a long time since I last posted. Are you, my fans, doing well?

I bet you guys are deprived. It must have been a long, cold and bitter two years for you people. Hence, wait no longer! HongXiang is back in the blogging business, and you lucky fans are in for a treat! I'll be allowing you guys little glimpses into my magnificent life, and leave you people gasping for air in front of your PC monitors. I can just imagine you losers staring at your PC monitor, reading my blog, and turning a whiter shade of pale.

First things first, an announcement to make. I WILL NO LONGER CURSE NOR SWEAR. EVER.*

Obviously, it is a change for the better, and I would like to explain it as a move to portray myself as a refined and well-mannered gentleman. Which I am, actually. The previously uncouth me was just an act, in order to allow my mixing with the masses at grassroots level.

But, those are just diplomatically-correct crap. The REAL reason is this - I had a dream last night, a terrible nightmare. I dreamt I had a baby. She was pretty cute for an infant, but that's not the point.

The point is, the first words she uttered were not 'Mama' or 'Papa'. Instead, it was a string of vulgarities so fluent that even I would be proud ashamed of. Freaky, man.

Do you want your kid to be like that?

Therefore, I shall stop swearing and cursing, as of today, 13 November 2006. I will be a Holy Man.









*Do note that the term 'ever' is very subjective. For some, 'ever' means ever. For others, 'ever' means two days. Right now, I belong to 'some'.

Author: Ye » Comments: