And then, pieces from all over
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Voila!
Just when you thought that I forgot about this blog, and that there's a remote chance that this unholy creation may dwindle and die off, I'm back!
To be honest though, I did forget about this blog until a few friends of mine brought it up. So thanks to them, I shall plant my ass on my smelly cheap chair and make unfounded sarcastic remarks at everything!
Before that, however, I think it is only right that I explain my absence on the World Wide Web (or as some call it, 'Wow wow wow!') .
You see, blogging is a tiresome affair.
Well, probably not an affair, but tiresome nonetheless.
Anyway, it is extremely taxing for me because being Singaporean, I struggle at English. And like many comrades, I start every sentence with the same words. Thus, every blog entry of mine must be vetted by a team of grammar experts to prevent repetition.
Don't get it? Well, let me give you an example. Read this before you continue.
Done?
Now read my original draft:
I was going home today. And then, suddenly, I think of something. And then I change the 'r' in 'road' to 't'. And then I change the 'n' in 'naming' to 't'. And then I get 'toad taming'.
Get my point? Now I hope you understand that blogging is a serious and tiring business.
(Well, actually everything is tiring. With the exception of resting, I think.)
Anyway, to the serious stuff.
The tool I use to type rubbish, Blogger, has nicely updated themselves to include three new languages: Arabic, Hebrew and Persian.
They couldn't release one before the other, because that might cause a nuclear holocaust in the Middle East. Those people fight over everything. It's just their regional hobby I guess, like how South East Asians like to burn trees.
Great piece of news though, because now we can say something poignant and make people read it from right to left.
On a brighter note, I went to a wedding dinner the other day, and it was fantastic.
I wasn't really sure as to who the couple really was, but boy, the food was delicious. Every single dish was, in UtarEmpire's words, sex in the mouth.
I have to highlight the roasted suckling pig though. It's not too oily, and every bite brings forth a fresh tingle. I flipped the pig around and found that there was a light coat of chilli under the thin flesh. Amazing stuff.
I don't really have a picture of the roasted pig, but here's something that should give you a rough idea of what it looks like:
Anyhow, this is the website of the restaurant: www.gimtim.com.sg
Finally, to end this entry on a high, I have an announcement to make: I lost my phone!
And like most people, losing my phone also means losing my entire phonebook. It is a bitch, I know, but that's what life is all about.
So, to make things easier for me (because THAT'S what it's all about, not the Hokey-freaking-Pokey), please read the following descriptions of your relationship with me and perform the appropriate action:
1) You see me in real life all the time but you do not know my name. Everytime you look at me I hide behind something. I'm always loitering at your door.
If you fit this description, PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER.
2) You see me in real life almost every week and I'm on your MSN list.
Don't bother doing anything, I probably have your number memorised. If not, you probably belong to group 3.
3) You see me in real life frequently and I'm on your MSN list. Sometimes, however, you see me offline for long periods and you have a sneaky feeling that I'm blocking you.
I'll ask for your number. If I need it.
4) I'm on your MSN list but we stopped meeting three years ago. Everytime either one of us starts talking to another, we go 'Sorry, but you are?'
Sorry, but you are?
5) You have never met me and you do not have my MSN. All you ever did was to read this blog.
I don't know who you are or what you do, but damn, you are one unlucky soul. Oh, and thank you for contributing to the numbers on the left. It means a lot to my ego.
Oh, and before I forget, UtarEmpire showed me this Youtube video the other day.
We decided over breakfast today that music has gone downhill ever since that fateful day when this song was released. No one ever came closer to musical nirvana than that. Not Michael Jackson, not Guns 'n' Roses, not Britney Spears. Hell, even Robert Plant pales in comparison.
So read my lips, my friends, for Rick is the new black.
Say something