Monday, November 05, 2007
Well, I haven't been updating frequently, but in all seriousness, I am still alive.
In fact, I am very much alive, considering the fact that I just turned 21 over the weekend.
I honestly and sincerely wish that I have many more birthdays ahead, because statistics have shown that the people with the most birthdays usually live longest.
Anyway, I don't like birthdays. I believe that it's one of the most brilliant marketing ploy by Hallmark, and people just use it as an excuse to get drunk. Or eat cake.
I am, in fact, a rebel without a pause, and so I protested against such viral marketing tactics by refusing to drink or eat cake.
I had a normal meal with a couple of friends at a neighbourhood coffeeshop (because they are all poor sods) and proceeded to play poker at a friend's place on the eve of my birthday. When the clock struck 12, my friends tried to pin me down and take my pants off.
They did not succeed and I won $8.
On another note, I gained 5kg. I have no idea how this happened, or when it started happening, but it did. In fact, I only found out when my friend commented that I look pregnant. And I like it.
I now weigh a grand total of 70kg. That is amazing, considering the fact that I haven't been working out at all.
My Mum is not so keen on that, though. Her immediate reaction when I told her that I gained 5kg was this:
'That's enough.'
I thought she asked me to shut up, considering the fact that she's fat and all, but no. She was referring to the 5kg. So I went from twiggy to to skinny, and she thinks that I've overdone it.
Whoop-dee-doo.
But I am not going to stop. No way. In fact, I just bought a box of Kellogg's Frosties, and I intend to finish them as soon as humanely possible.
Oh, and I absolutely have to say this. I dislike one colleague of mine, and I have to rant here.
She (or he? I don't know. I am a mysterious bastard.) is extremely stupid, and does not work at all. And by 'at all', I mean 'at all'. Let's just call her Tomato for convenience's sake.
Tomato strolls into office every morning at 830am, and reads the papers until it's 930am. Then she goes for her breakfast and returns at 10am. After that, it's funtime for her as she scours the internet for the latest horoscope news, chat with her friends on the phone, download malicious attachments from her Hotmail account or walk around the office.
After doing all that, she goes home at 445pm, more than half an hour before the end of her shift.
And today, I told her that Auntie Hell would be on leave. Her immediate response was 'Oh, she celebrates Deepavali too?'
Well, Tomato has been on leave for half of last week, and will be on leave again for half of this. Auntie Hell was on leave for last Friday and today. And Tomato is unhappy.
Unfortunately for Auntie Hell, though, everyone in the office prefers Tomato. This is because Auntie Hell lacks people skills and Tomato has that in abundance. In fact, Tomato has this irritating knack of appearing to do a lot, while actually achieving very little.
However, Auntie Hell is a much better worker than Tomato will ever be. At least, Auntie Hell doesn't screw up as many times as Tomato has.
Oh, and while I'm typing this, Tomato is Googling for make-up tips. Just another day in the office.
sigh. DXO's.
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